Hope's Friday.

So it’s Friday night and I just thought ya’ll might like to hear about how interesting and productive my night was. Hell we’ll just start with my whole day. We can call it Hope’s Friday. That sounds good.

I got out of bed at 3 p.m. but I did go to sleep at like 5 a.m., still though I mean wow right? Then I smoked a cigarette and watched TV. Later on, I ate a muffin that Caleb brought me when he went to the store and to Starbucks and to write and do some homework…you know things that normal people do. I smoked a lot of cigarettes, and then I’ve spent about the last 4 hours trying to get my skill level to pro playing tennis on Wii Sports. I swear that game freaking cheats. It lets me get like 801 points and that’s it. I only need 1000 to be pro. I mean come on that’s not a lot. And I know it’s not me because I’m the shit. The game is for sure cheating. Don’t worry though; I’m not like standing up and tricking myself into believing that I’m burning calories or anything. I’m sitting down on the couch talking shit to the Wii characters I’m playing against. “Ok Luca return this backhand. That’s what I thought bitch. Game over. Now go to the Mii store and shave your beard. It looks terrible.” My skill level is still below pro, in case you were wondering.

Now I’m sitting here reflecting on “Hope’s Friday” realizing that all I do is sit around and talk shit. I’m gonna quit smoking, I’m gonna get certified, I’m gonna get a better job, I’m gonna go back to school and get my masters. But all I’m doing is just talking shit. I wanna help people, I wanna make a difference, I wanna get better, I wanna be better, I wanna be remembered…and then I wanna go ahead and end starvation, stop the war between religions, and pave the way to world peace. Blah and blah and shit and blah. I’m still just sitting on this couch talking about everything I’m gonna start doing tomorrow then tomorrow comes and I just keep on talking about what I’m gonna start doing the day after tomorrow and so on and so on.

"Man that's all we ever do is talk shit! "We need to get fine bitches and fat rides. No, what we need to do is put our money in savings bonds. No, what we need to do is put our songs on JLB." Man shut the fuck up. All of us never do shit about nuttin' and we're still broke as fuck and living at home with our moms."-Jimmy Smith Jr

I know where I am, and I know where I want to be. I also know that I can’t get there from here. I understand that. It makes sense. It’s the steps that it takes to get there that scare me. It’s the work that I’ll have to put into it. It’s the no’s I might have to hear. It’s the trying and the losing that I don’t wanna go through…and I won’t lie, also it’s just about being lazy. I can’t change anything if I’m not doing anything to change what I wanna change. I can’t get anywhere if I’m just sitting on the couch talking shit to Luca and saying that I’m gonna start my life journey tomorrow. Just sitting outside still smoking cigarettes and pretending that air planes are shooting stars making a wish that I know can’t come true because that’s not really a shooting star it’s just an air plane. But wait; that whole shooting star thing is just a myth if all I’m gonna do is just make the wish. I might as well just keep on talking shit because nothing is gonna change if I’m here and wanna be there but I just keep sitting here.

That’s what they meant right?

So I’m gonna try to quit smoking…tomorrow I mean. Maybe I’ll start taking all of the right steps tomorrow. But maybe I’m just sitting here talking shit. I’ll try to let ya’ll know how it all goes. I mean if you keep coming back. If so I will talk to you later…but if there is no tomorrow, well then thanks for reading this today.