Friday, October 14, 2011

Life and everything that comes with it.

Have you ever looked at a picture of your ex and thought….what the fuck was I thinking?? You aren’t even cute!! They are moving on as if they did nothing wrong and you wanna scream in their face- “you did everything wrong you ugly lying ass hole!”- But you don’t say it, because you are better than them, and you always have been. And then you just wish that they were missing you, so that for once they could feel the way that they made you feel. Then you think if anyone could ever make you feel that awful feeling you felt, then you could never make them feel anything at all, because if someone really cared, they would never make you feel that way. So then you tell yourself, that they never cared, and they never meant any of the nice things they said. It was all just one big bitter sweet lie. And maybe that is true, hell it’s probably true…but if it’s not, just thinking that it’s true helps you find the strength to move on. To move forward.

We are all a lot stronger than we like to give ourselves credit for. There is something deep inside that we all find a way to cling to, because let’s just face it; we wouldn’t still be here if we weren’t strong. Life is hard as shit. It’s mean and cruel and everyone has to deal with it and fight through it and cry about it. Maybe what we cling to is pride, not giving in because then everyone else would think we are weak. Maybe it’s guilt, because if we didn’t stay it would just hurt too many people that we had to leave. Maybe it’s the thought that we just have to much left to do. Dreams that we desire and things that we wanna make happen. Maybe it’s a combination of them all; give and take away whatever works for the individual. For me personally, I just try to look at it all in moments. We have all had good and bad ones. Sad and happy ones. Right and wrong ones. Even the good, happy, and right ones haven’t been perfect. I tell myself it’s just life. Life is just keeping the balance. So that’s what I cling during the bad, sad, and wrong moments. The thought that in time the scale will start to tip, and my life will be back on the way up. Maybe that’s not true…hell it’s probably not true. But just thinking that it’s true helps me find the strength to move on to move forward.

I have seen firsthand the beauty of 2 souls becoming one, and I have witnessed the heartache that happens when one of those souls is ripped away. I have felt firsthand the love of people who truly love me no matter what, and I have cried through the heartache of losing them. I tell myself it’s just life. Life is just keeping the balance. The grass is not always greener, and once we have jumped that fence we can’t always go back over. So I try to enjoy where I am, even though it may not be where I wanna be, I try to find the good in it, and enjoy who I am there with. Because I know that the grass is not always greener, but it may be. I hope for us all that every now and then we hop a fence that has the greenest grass and most beautiful flowers growing on the other side. I hope that the bad, sad, and wrong moments don’t stop you from believing in the good, happy, and right ones. I hope that heartbreak and heartache doesn’t scare you away from loving again. I hope that you always find something to cling to. I hope that you think it’s just life and it’s just moments.

Life is hard as shit. It’s mean and cruel and everyone has to deal with it and fight through it and cry about it. But I believe that all of that bad is what makes the good the best. So stay and fight and love and smile because life is worth it. We are all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Maybe that’s not true…but maybe, just maybe…it is.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. If you enjoy it then I will be back soon and if you don’t well then I don’t like you either lol jk…but seriously. Thanks again.
This song is perfect. Leona Lewis is beautiful and so talented. Love.

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